First Date
by AfewSentencesShortOfaParagraph
Summary: Parts 1 and 2 of Love Lockdown in Eli's POV. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Degrassi. I really don't; I wouldn't lie to you guys. **

**Sorry, I get bored with the traditional disclaimer. I try to add snarkiness to keep it interesting. Is it working? Rhetorical question, that was. Like Yoda, I can talk. **

**Okay, time to get to the story, right? Here is the first half of Love Lockdown- Part 1! Enjoy yourselves, friends. =D :**

Two weeks without Clare was harder to endure than I had expected it to be. Her grandmother lived in British Columbia, so we were trying to communicate over a three hour time difference. Unfortunately, that seemed to be easier said than done. Clare was always busy when I tried calling, and she completely ignored all my texts.

Of course, I wasn't completely obtuse- I knew Clare's convenient preoccupation was just her way of showing me that she was still upset about Fitz. Which was understandable, but I didn't see how blowing me off was going to fix anything. Not to mention that the day after Vegas Night I got a call from Principal Simpson about my suspension- which essentially meant that I had to go through three weeks without seeing Clare on a regular basis.

She wasn't suspended because Simpson decided that her perfect record and reasonable justification for the stink bomb left her innocent. I, on the other hand, was clearly antagonizing Fitz by blaming him, so I would have to undergo a punishment. Simpson's words, not mine.

Suspension aside, it would be harder for Clare to avoid me when she was just down the street, and she was due back safely from her grandma's any minute now.

"Dude, stop pacing," Adam suggested firmly, "It's making me nervous." It was the Saturday before he went back to school, so I had invited him over to play video games and to keep me sane. Unfortunately for him, my level of sanity was steadily dissipating. I had texted Clare, asking her to text me when she was home, but what if she didn't? I felt like a drug addict that hadn't taken a hit in a week, and I was definitely going through some major withdrawal.

"Sorry. I'm just…anxious."

"Could have fooled me," Adam mocked. I stopped to smirk and narrow my eyes at him. "Why are you so bent out of shape, anyway? You said yourself that Clare wasn't going to break up with you over the Fitz thing; she obviously just needed some space."

"I need to see her, though. It's completely crazy, but I'm just so used to having her around all the time, so her absence has been particularly brutal. Besides, what if she doesn't want to see me just yet? I'll go completely insane," I started to pace again. I simply wanted to see her face; to know she was okay. I wanted to wrap her up in my arms and let her scent wash over me. I wanted to hear her laugh; see her beautiful smile. When had I become so dependent on Clare? I needed to chill out; I took a deep breath, and flopped down on the couch next to Adam so I would stop pacing.

"You mean you haven't already?" Adam raised his eyebrows at me.

"No," I told him, a ring of certainty in my voice, "After I lost Julia I went completely insane," I whispered. "This is nothing compared to how I was after the accident," I told him honestly. '_Or still kind of am_,' I thought to myself darkly, images of my room swimming into my mind. I looked over at Adam only to find him staring at me, a bizarre look of befuddlement and astonishment plastered on his face. "What?" I asked him, confused and defensive.

"Sorry, you're just not usually so…open or casual about your past that it caught me off guard." I nodded, he had a point, but I had almost completely come to terms with the whole thing. I certainly didn't place so much blame on myself anymore. The only problem I had left to face was my hoarding tendency. Not a small feat, but it no longer seemed impossible. "Clare's helped a lot with that, hasn't she? That's why you're acting so strange about her absence, isn't it." The last part was less of a question and more of a statement. Adam's pensive stare made me feel a little uncomfortable.

I wasn't surprised that Adam had been able to figure that out when my own mother hadn't put two and two together yet. Adam was a very perceptive kid; especially when it came to his friends and family. I couldn't hide much from him. "Kid Wonder hits the nail on the head once again!" I exclaimed playfully, smirking at him.

Adam sat back, satisfied, just as my phone let out a beep signaling I had a text message. I grabbed it, and flipped it open. A genuine smile lit up my face when I saw that it was from Clare, but I quickly deflated as I read it.

'Hey, I'm home, but I've got some serious jetlag. I'm going to take a nap. Sorry.'

She was still avoiding me, I assumed. Oh well, I would see her tomorrow no matter what. "Clare's home safely," I said to Adam, not able to hide my disappointment.

"You want me to leave so you can go over there?" Adam offered. In response I passed him the phone so he could read the message for himself. "Oh," he started cautiously, "so, do you want me to leave so you can pout?" I couldn't tell if he was seriously offering that, or if he was mocking me.

"I'll leave that up to you," I told him. It was true that I probably wasn't going to be in a pleasant mood the rest of the evening, but that didn't necessarily mean I wanted to kick Adam out.

He stood up, stretching. "I think I had better go," he commented, assessing my mood. '_Smart move_,' I thought to myself, '_if I could escape from myself, I would, too_.'

"Thanks for coming over," I told him, getting up as well so I could drive him home. Adam just nodded as we walked out the door and slipped into Morty. Adam stayed quiet for the duration of the ride, and for that I was thankful. I had taken Adam to and from his house many a time, so I was able to turn on my autopilot, and just try not to think about how I was on the brink of insanity.

"Thanks for the ride," Adam said, smiling at me when I parked in his driveway, "See you soon." I nodded, and watched as he climbed out, and then slipped through his front door.

On my way back home I tried to talk myself into a sense of calm. There was no reason for me to get worked up- I had spent two weeks without Clare, and one more night was not going to kill me. So, I went home, locked myself in my room, and collapsed on my bed. All my energy had been completely drained from the anxious worry I had been experiencing all day. I decided that the sooner I went to bed, the sooner I would see Clare, so put everything I had into relaxing.

Before I knew it I sprung up in my bed, dazed. The clock sitting on top of a pile of random shit read 12:07 pm. I rubbed my eyes, trying to make it change, but the numbers remained the same. I had not slept that long, not to mention dreamlessly, for a year. I smiled to myself, knowing that I had Clare to thank for my now regular sleeping patterns.

For a moment, a dark thought slipped into my head: my dependence on Clare was probably extremely unhealthy if this relationship was going to work. I needed to learn how to balance my life, or there would be harsh consequences.

I took a deep breath, reluctantly pushing the thoughts aside, and looked around my room for my phone. I found it under the covers by my feet, and flipped it open. Clare had texted me while I had been out. 'I'm going to church. I'll call you after. ;),' it read. I smiled; apparently she was done avoiding me.

I got out of bed and headed for the kitchen. I found my mom and dad sitting at the table. "Morning, sleepyhead," my mom greeted me; "did you sleep well?"

"Yes, actually," I announced. My dad and she exchanged a pleased, but cautious, look. "I saw that," I warned them, narrowing my eyes.

"What do you expect, Eli," my dad's deep croak questioned, "We're happy you're happy, we're just worried that it may be a temporary arrangement."

I rolled my eyes, but I could definitely see where they were coming from; they had every right to be skeptical.

"When do we get to meet her, anyway," my mom chirped happily. Maybe I had been wrong last night when I thought my mom had not connected my mood to Clare.

"Excuse me?" I was caught off guard.

"We know there is a girl, Eli," My dad winked at me, painfully accurate.

"Eventually…," I told them noncommittally. They just laughed, and moved on to a new topic. I grabbed some cereal, and ate it at the counter. Just as I was finishing up, my phone started to buzz. I quickly put my bowl into the dishwasher, grabbed my phone, and headed out of the room before answering. My parents shot me knowing looks as I rushed out of the room. I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at them. "Hey," I said, answering my phone.

"I miss you," Clare responded warmly. I smiled; the knot that had been ever-present in my stomach for the duration of break released. I had no clue why I had convinced myself that Clare didn't still have feelings for me. Paranoia was an odd emotion.

"Oh yeah?" I asked her playfully, "Your continued silence was telling me a different story." I tried to play my worry off as a joke, but I knew Clare could hear the accusation under my good-natured tone.

"So, I needed a little time to think. You'll be happy to hear my time away has turned the tables in your favor. I realize that what happened with Fitz was not entirely your fault, but just don't let it happen again," she scolded me. I rolled my eyes.

"Does that mean I'm completely forgiven?" I asked, exasperated.

Clare chuckled. "Not completely," she qualified, "but let's not talk about that right now. I want to see you." I wasn't happy with her response, but I was eager to see her, and we could always talk things out in person.

"I'll be over in a half hour," I responded, "but we should talk about it soon. Like maybe when I get over there," I suggested roughly.

"Can't wait. For you to be here, and for us to talk," Clare told me sincerely before we hung up. I quickly showered, dressed, and grabbed my keys. I stopped by the kitchen to inform my parents that I was going out, and then I walked out to Morty. All my anxieties had been put to rest with that phone call, so I could enjoy the short drive to Clare's- blasting my music, and singing along softly. The feeling of weightlessness was one I had not gotten used to yet, but it still felt amazing in combination with my excitement of seeing Clare.

I pulled up to the curb in front of Clare's house, and hopped out of my hearse. I was walking up to the door to knock when Clare flew out and ran right into me.

"Ooof," I grunted on the impact, but smiled as she pulled me close, her arms around my neck. I placed my hands on Clare's hips, and pulled her as close to me as possible, burying my face in her curly hair. I inhaled deeply, my addiction finally being satisfied.

After a moment Clare removed her arms from my neck and stepped back, smiling and meeting my eyes. "It's good to see you, too," I commented, chuckling.

"You know what they say: distance makes the heart grow fonder." Clare grabbed my hand, and pulled me down so we could sit on the steps. "I'm sorry for avoiding you. I really am, but I needed the time to asses where our relationship is headed. When I realized how much I missed you, though, I knew there was no sense in even considering a break."

"I'm glad you came to that conclusion," I told her earnestly, staring her right in the eye. "I've been going crazy here without you. Just one question, though," I told her, narrowing my eyes at her a little.

"What's that?" Clare prompted me.

"Why am I not forgiven yet? Have I not apologized a sufficient amount?" I really had no clue what else to do.

"That's not it," Clare was shaking her head at me; "I know you're sorry, I'm just still reeling from how immaturely you handled the situation. Let's just say you're on probation," she smiled at me, so I leaned in to kiss her forehead.

"I can handle that. For now…," I complied, whispering the words into her hair. I felt Clare shiver involuntarily. I would have to keep a lookout for something I could use to make it up to Clare once and for all. I had heard Chuck Palahniuk was coming to town soon; I would have to look into that. He was one of Clare's, not to mention my, favorite authors. It would make an awesome first date; I smirked to myself.

Just then Clare got to her feet. "Let's go inside, shall we? I really think you should finally meet my parents," she suggested, a devilish gleam in her eye. As soon as the door shut behind us, though, Clare stiffened.

"What's…," I began to ask her what the problem was when I heard the yelling. Clare's parents had apparently not resolved their issues yet.

Clare face had turned pale as a sheet, and she shot a worried glance in my direction. "Let's go to my room," she whispered to me, and took off without waiting to see if I heard her. Without hesitation I followed her up the stairs, and into her room. I had never been there before, but it was just as I expected it to be: bland and organized like the rest of the Edwards' house. Clare walked to her bed, plopped down, and let her head drop into her hands.

I watched her cautiously for a moment until her shoulders started to shake- clearly crying. I crossed the room in two giant bonds, settling myself down next to her gently, and then I draped my arm over her shoulder. "Clare," I said, my concern saturating my voice.

I response Clare turned in toward me, resting her head on my shoulder as a sob escaped her throat. "They were so civil while we were at Grandma's," her voice shook as she tried to stay quiet, "and I was naïve enough to think that it meant they were over this hostility." I felt her shake her head. I let her cry for a few moments till I heard her tears slow

"You're not naïve," I finally spoke, trying to comfort her, rubbing circles up and down her arm, "You're just chronically hopeful."

"I don't see the difference," Clare sniffled.

"There isn't one," I informed her candidly. "Hopeful just has a much better connotation," I joked lightly with her, kissing the top of her head.

She chuckled softly. "You're ridiculous," she notified me.

"I do what I can," I faked arrogance, and she playfully punched me in the arm, sitting up.

"I'm sorry about that," she blushed rubbing her eyes, "I didn't mean to lose control like that, I guess I was just surprised."

"Clare, you don't have to apologize," I told her, perplexed that she thought she had to. "Our relationship is kind of past the formalities stage," I let sarcasm color my tone.

She blushed deeper, "You're right, but I still feel bad."

"Well, don't," I told her simply, lightly wiping a tear off her cheek. A door slammed downstairs, followed by a silence, so I assumed that the worst was over for the time being. "Should we go downstairs?" I whispered to Clare. She nodded, so I grabbed her hand, and we walked down together. Clare gestured that we should exit out the front door.

When we were outside Clare turned to me, "I had wanted to introduce them to you," she told me chagrined, "but now isn't really a good time."

"I'd say that's a bit of an understatement," I raised my eyebrows at her.

"I have to get ready for school tomorrow, anyway," Clare said, the regret clear in her voice, "so you should probably go home and do the same."

I shifted uncomfortably, looking away from Clare. "I'm, um, well, I don't have much to get ready for…," I scratched my head, trying to shield Clare from looking into my eyes.

"What are you talking about?" Clare asked suspiciously

"I may be a little suspended," I admitted guiltily.

"You're what!" Clare's voice shot through a few octaves, "Why?"

"Schools tend to frown upon knife fights," I said sarcastically. "But it's only for a week; I'll be back before you know it. You won't even have time to miss me." Clare narrowed her eyes at me, but remained silent. "I guess I'll leave you to your scholarly preparations," I said, not moving. Clare nodded, still not happy about my suspension. I stepped forward to plant a kiss on her cheek, and then walked to Morty, climbing in. Clare waved as I drove away, but she was obviously lost in thought. I hoped for her sake that her parents would start to get along again soon. I could see the same stress lines on her face that had been there during our first week of friendship. I shook my head, knowing that the fighting I had just heard could not end well for any involved.

XXX

My week of suspension was ultimately uneventful. I received my new school uniform in the mail, and listened to Clare and Adam both complain about the new rules over the phone. Other than that I passed the time with video games, sleep, and long drives in Morty. Clare was busy with homework and some Ali drama, so she couldn't hang out, and Adam was stuck at home listening to Drew complain about said Ali drama. I felt oddly cut off from the rest of the world, but I suppose that was the point. The weekend before I was allowed to go back to school I spent catching up on school work that I was expected to have done, and picking up two tickets to see Chuck Palahniuk on Monday night. I couldn't wait to surprise Clare with them, and to go on our first date.

Finally, Monday came around. I had never been so excited in my life to go to school, not only to be with Clare, but also simply for something to do. I loved school, most of it anyway, and being without it for so long was refreshing, but boring.

As I got ready that morning I looked at my uniform, considering what it would be like to put it on, but I had the perfect excuse not to wear it that I simply couldn't resist. I slipped on some regular clothes, figuring that if anyone would be oblivious to the new rules it would be the guy who was out all week. I smiled to myself, as I climbed into Morty, and headed for Degrassi.

"Well, look who's back," I heard Adam comment, walking up to where I was at my locker. "How is it that you have your photo ID, but not a uniform?" Adam asked me confused.

"We have uniforms now?" I feigned innocence, "This was never brought to my knowledge." Adam rolled his eyes at me, but chuckled.

"Do you really think they're going to buy that?" He asked me faithlessly.

"Of course," I told him cockily, "I missed the christening of this new Degrassi, so it would make sense for me to be a tad behind on the new rules." Besides all that, I had impeccable acting skills. Adults turned to putty in my hands…usually.

"I guess," Adam conceded. "I need to get to first period, but I'll see you in English," Adam called as he walked away. I nodded in his general direction; then I surveyed the halls. I had to say it was strange to not see Clare at her locker, and I had to wonder where she was. I couldn't linger on the thought too long, though, because the warning bell rang, and I had to rush to History.

I had to actually pay attention in History for the first time in a while because I was pretty behind. I focused on my notes, and, thankfully, I was able to catch myself up within the period.

I rushed to English, looking forward to presenting Clare with the tickets for tonight. Vegas Night had been a disaster, but I would make sure this date was the most fun, romantic night of Clare's life. As I walked into English I immediately spotted Clare sitting on her desk, talking to one of the girls in the class. She looked up as I walked in and smiled widely at me. I winked at her, and was about to go join her when a boy from the class whose name I could not recall stepped in front of me.

"Hi, Eli," the kid greeted me nervously.

"Um, hi…," I trailed off. He knew my name, so I really didn't want to ask him what his was. For some reason that just seemed rude to me. "What's up?" I asked him, my face slipping into a mask of confusion.

"Well, I help Ms. Dawes grade papers sometimes, and I've read your poetry. It's really good," I wondered where this was going, "so I was wondering if you could read some of my stuff, and give me some advice," The kid spit the last part out nervously, and the flinched as if he was expecting an immediate no. I glanced over at Clare who seemed absorbed in her conversation. I decided not to interrupt her just yet. Besides, the kid seemed nice, so there was no reason for me to turn him down.

"Sure," I smiled at him. He blinked a few times, clearly taken aback. Did I really seem that unapproachable? I was kind of offended.

"T-t-thank you!" The kid stuttered appreciatively. I walked to his desk with him, perching on the one behind it as he handed me a notebook. I started to skim it. It was actually decent work, but the flow was a little choppy in some poems. I circled them, and told him what I thought he could do to make it better when Ms. Dawes sailed into the room.

"Mr. Goldsworthy," She sighed, and I handed the kid his notebook. He murmured a quick thanks, but I had focused on Dawes, so all I did was nod. "The new dress code is not mortician. That's detention; you know the rules."

I scoffed at her description of my clothing, but stuck to the script I had figured out in my head. "Actually, no I don't," she spun around to face me, a bemused look on her face, "I missed last week, remember? Suspension," I reminded her.

I could tell Dawes knew I was using that to my advantage, but she couldn't prove anything, so she went along with it. "That's a fair defense," she muttered, "but this is your only warning," she pointed her finger at me and narrowed her eyes. I chuckled.

I looked over at Clare to see her rolling her eyes at my clever escape, obviously not so absorbed in her conversation anymore. So, I decided it was a fair time to join her. Also, my desk was the one in front of hers, and class was about to start soon. Showing off just a little, I hopped off the desktop I was sitting on, jumped over one row of desks, and landed on the top of the desk beside Clare all in one fluid motion. I let an elated smile light up my face- I couldn't wait to give her the tickets.

Clare quickly looked around the room to make sure Dawes hadn't noticed my little stunt. The girl Clare had been talking to rolled her eyes, and walked away quietly. "Dodged a bullet there," I commented proudly.

"I thought you only dodged knives…," Clare said, only partially joking.

"Really?" I asked her incredulously. I figured she had officially gotten over this during the week of my suspension, but apparently I was wrong. "Three weeks and I'm still in the doghouse," I raised my eyebrows at her, but I was still abashed. Clare just turned her face to the side, subbing me. "I only messed with Fitz to defend your honor," I reminded her, "and if I had known that psycho was going to pull a knife…"

I couldn't finish because Clare started to count. I trailed off, confused. "Eight, nine, ten," she was watching her wrist watch, but then she turned to me. "Now you're forgiven," she smiled.

I let out a sigh of relief. I had been thinking that she was never going to let that go. "Thank you," I told her earnestly. Then I smiled, revving up to show Clare my surprise for her, "I'll make it up to you tonight," I told her, reaching into my back pocket, "on our first official date!" I whipped the tickets out in front of me for Clare to see.

Clare knew what they were immediately. "You got Chuck Palahniuk tickets?" She asked me excitedly.

"Yup," I confirmed proudly, "He's reading an unpublished Fight Club excerpt tonight."

As I was talking Clare deflated- not a good sign. I looked at her questioningly.

"I've got the theater awards tonight," Clare didn't even try to hide her disappointment, "and both my parents are coming." She winced.

"Ah," I thought back to the fight I had walked in on a week ago, and wondered if that had gotten any better. "They're not fighting anymore?" I asked her hopefully.

"No, they're still fighting," she assured me, her voice taking on sarcastic tones. "Fighting just might be the new normal."

I smiled at her sympathetically, and looked down at the tickets. I was really hoping we could go. Just then, a brilliant thought struck me, "But the talk doesn't start till eight," I started hopefully, "So, you think that parental mediation will be done by then?"

Clare paused a moment, considering. The she reached forward, and plucked one of the tickets from my hands, making a noise of confirmation. I smiled broadly at her, and Ms. Dawes started to teach. We slipped into our desks, but I had trouble concentrating on anything but tonight. It was going to be amazing.

XXX

Clare and I were sitting at our regular lunch table waiting for Adam, and discussing our plans for tonight. "So, I'll pick you up around 7:30 from the school," I told her, and she smiled and nodded.

"How did you even score these?" she asked, astonished.

"I had to battle through the seven rings of hell for them," I told her casually, and she kicked me under the table. "Fine, I actually just made sure I was one of the first in a rather long line," she chuckled.

"Thank you," she was beaming at me.

"You two seem especially happy today," Adam commented, sliding into his seat.

"We are going on our first date tonight," Clare declared happily, pulling her ticket out of her bag and sliding it over to him.

Adam read the ticket, and pushed it back. "That'll be fun," he smiled at us. I was glad Adam no longer felt like a third wheel around us. It put my mind at ease.

"I always have fun with Clare," I mused. Adam shook his head at me, and I laughed. "It's true!" I said, defending myself.

"Still, you could at least try to tone down the couple stuff when I'm around," Adam joked, throwing a fry off his lunch try at me.

We all laughed at each other. Clare stood up. "I have to go finish a paper for history, but I'll see you guys later." She waved and walked off.

"So," Adam started once Clare was gone, "are you going to the theater awards tonight?"

"Should I be?" I asked him, confused.

He raised his eyebrows at me, "Clare is nominated for something," he said this as if it should be something I already know.

"I…didn't know. Clare never said anything…," I trailed off.

"If I were you," Adam told me, "I would go, dude. Best to be safe than sorry, right?"

"You are absolutely right," I told him, tossing the fry back at him, "Thanks."

"You know I always have your back," Adam smiled at me.

XXX

So, thanks to Adam's advice, I arrived at Degrassi, and snuck in the auditorium just in time to hear that Clare had won in her category. I smiled to myself, and slipped backstage to listen to her speech. I detected the anxiousness and anger in her voice as she talked about her parents instilling a love for theater in her at an early age. I could only imagine what transpired beforehand that was making her so upset.

She stopped shot just as she reached the backstage area, spotting me. I clapped twice. "Bravo," I told her proudly, "I couldn't have said it better. Maybe shorter."

"At least you listened," She said, irritated, "My parents are losing their minds out there," she admitted softly. I figured.

"But at least soon you'll be comforted by the disturbing prose of Chuck Palahniuk," I said, attempting to cheer her up. She shot me a pained, ashamed look. "Oh, no. They said no," my heart sank.

Just them, a gleam I had never seen in Clare's eye before was present. "So what?" She asked me. "Why should they ruin my night?" I liked where this was going. Clare grabbed a hold of my hand. "Come on," she said excitedly, pulling me out onto the stage.

"You little devil," I said playfully, my heart kicking it up a notch. Clare had never been very rebellious, and it was thrilling to see her acting this way.

As we ran across the sage I waved to her parents, who had identical shocked looks on their faces. I worried that this would cause them not to like me, but I couldn't focus on that for long because I felt Clare's hand squeeze mine, and she let out an excited giggle. Tonight was going better than I had planned, and it had barely even begun yet!

**I want to apologize for taking so long to update. I had lots of stuff to do. I also felt the show left a lot to be filled in, so that's what I did. I hope you like it. Review? That would be amazing. **

**Thanks for reading. =D**


	2. Chuck Palahniuk

**I ****do**** own Degrassi. **

**Psych. I bet I tricked you there for a second. I totally had you going. Don't be afraid to admit it! Okay, I'm kidding, and weird. I also don't own Degrassi, but I'm sure you guys have picked up on that by now. **

**So, anyway, welcome to the second half of Love Lockdown- Part 1. It's first date time! I must warn you- this chapter will probably be chock full of EClare cuteness. Enjoy my dear readers. 3 :**

Clare and I burst through the double doors that dumped us out into the back parking lot; Clare leading the way. I couldn't help but revel in the irony: mere weeks earlier I had been leading Clare out into the parking lot with a similar look of rebellion and determination on my face. However, this was much more exciting than simply skipping school and Clare was no longer just an intriguing acquaintance- she was my girlfriend. The thought instantly made me feel warm. Clare had finally forgiven me, her out of character behavior was fascinating, and we were about to embark on our very first date. That is my definition of fun.

"You're so slow," Clare complained, practically sprinting toward Morty. I came to a complete stop, and my hand slipped out of Clare's as she kept running. When she realized that I was no longer behind her she reeled around to face me. "What are you doing?" she asked me, puzzled.

My lips curled up slowly into a rare teeth-exposing smile. "I'm just taking in this moment," I assured her, sucking in a deep breath. The air was warm and smelled like rain, but it wasn't humid. Clare looked beautiful in her bright blue dress that was hinting at her curve and accenting her ice-blue eyes which were narrowing skeptically at me. The moon was out, shining brightly, and Clare's hair was holding an unusual sheen to it because of the light. I could practically hear the violins playing in the background- that was probably my overactive imagination, though. "Everything just seems so perfect right now," I told her quietly, "I want to catalogue it in my mind before it's too late."

"What do you mean?" Clare took a few steps toward me, closing the distance between us. She looked up at me through her eyelashes, baffled.

"All of life's moments are so fragile," I mused, "so, if you don't take the time to appreciate them, they're gone before you get the chance." My thoughts jumped to Julia for a brief second before focusing back on Clare. I wrapped my arms lightly around her waist.

"You never cease to amaze me," Clare commented, tapping my nose with her pointer finger. "I just never know what's going on up there in that head of yours." Her gaze was boring right into mine.

"For the sake of your sanity, I think we should keep it that way," I winked at her, and bent down to kiss her forehead before she could read the seriousness behind that comment on my face. "Now," I started, slipping my hand into hers, "we have kick-ass plans tonight. Are you ready for this?"

"Are you kidding me?" Clare laughed- the gleam in her eyes back, "I was born ready." I rolled my eyes at the cliché, but pulled her over to where I had parked Morty. Clare slipped in without her usual moment of hesitation. I paused, surprised. This rebellious Clare was going to take some getting used to.

I jumped into the driver's side, and headed toward the coffee shop where Palahniuk was reading. I had been there a few times for some poetry slams, and to hear other authors, but this was Clare's first time. I assured her she was in for a treat.

"I have another surprise for you," I told her as we pulled out of Degrassi's parking lot.

Clare raised her eyebrows, "Is that so?"

"'Tis," I winked at her. "Go into the glove compartment, will you?" She opened it up and then glanced at me expectantly, "Grab my CD case," I requested. She opened it, and handed the black book over to me. While keeping one hand on the wheel, I flipped to the last page of sleeves, slipped out the only CD there, and handed it to her. I set the book down on the bench between us.

"Clare?" She read what I had written on the CD questioningly.

"You're always complaining about my music," I explained, "so, instead of torturing you any further, I made a mix of all the cheesy love songs that remind me of you. Pop it in."

Clare was skeptical until the first track, Awake by Secondhand Serenade, started to play. A light blush bloomed on Clare's cheeks, and a small smile slipped on her face. "Thank you. This was really thoughtful. I'm…touched," she admitted. Then she put the CD case back in the glove compartment, and slid over to me. I slipped my arm over her shoulders, pulling her close to me. She leaned up to press her lips right to my jaw bone. I glanced at her quickly, loving that her eyes were reflecting back everything I was feeling at that moment. "Eyes on the road," she teased me lightly, and I reluctantly complied.

We reached the coffee place just as Palahniuk was taking the stage. I lead Clare to a table near the front, but off to the side. The only light on was a single spotlight directed at the stage. Everyone was quiet, anticipating what Palahniuk was going to say. He opened his mouth and started to speak- his deep voice accentuation the emotions perfectly. Clare slid her chair closer to mine, resting her head in the nook of shoulder and neck. As the reading went on Clare and I became totally absorbed. I absentmindedly played with Clare's hair-twirling it around my fingers, and every now and then Clare would shiver, but other than that we were both in the universe that Palahniuk had created for us. The words were so powerfully crafted to make you wonder and question; delivered for maximum impact, and I knew I would never find another girl who would appreciate it as much as Clare did. She understood me, and my world, like no one else could- I could tell she was just as affected by the reading as I was.

Chuck Palahniuk wrapped up, thanked us all for coming, and the dimmed lights around the shop were brought up again.

"Where should we go next?" I asked her, daring her with my eyes to declare the date finished.

Clare's face almost looked like it was glowing in the dim lighting, but that could have had something to do with her broad smile. "Let's walk around a little; I'm sure something will catch our interest. Also, that was…amazing," her eyes widened, as we got up to walk out, "I have never been to anything like that before, but I would love to do it again sometime. Everything he said was just so powerful!" Clare gushed. We stopped at the door to get our copy of the work we had just heard. Clare and I both nodded appreciatively before pushing out the door.

"I know! God, I love Palahniuk's prose," I agreed, walking backward out into the street, deeply breathing in the cool air, "It's just so raw and forceful and dark!"

Clare followed, an excited smile still lighting up her face. "But not half as dark as his characters," she countered, "Jeeze, they're sociopathic."

We reached the other side of the street, and I continued walking backward down the sidewalk just so I could watch Clare's face. "But to be a truly great writer you need some damage to draw on," I deliberated. The best writers were the ones who had lived through the emotion, and knew how to capture it just right.

"Guess you're halfway to the Pulitzer, then," Clare joked with me. Just then, the shrill ring of her cell phone sliced into the night. I would place bets on my life that it was Clare's parents wanting to know where their precious daughter had vanished to. I cringed thinking of how they would feel if they knew I had condoned this. I didn't want them to hate me- that meant I wouldn't be able to see Clare very often.

Clare pulled her phone out of her purse and made a sour expression at it, as if it could have prevented the interruption. The look on her face confirmed my thoughts. "Parents calling to end our fun?" I asked delicately. I really didn't want this to end yet, but I would probably have to take Clare home.

Or so I thought until she tucked the phone back into her purse. "Doesn't matter because I'm not answering," Clare insisted, the defiant gleam back.

I was a little shocked. The Clare I was used to would not have risked disappointing her parents so greatly. Clare was a goody two shoes- the yin to my yang. Although, I loved Clare normally, I had to say I liked rebellious Clare. She was interesting, different. But I still couldn't help poke fun at her drastic change in attitude, "An award, and author's talk, and youthful rebellion," I raised my eyebrows playfully at her, "Wow, big night." I let sarcasm sneak into my voice.

"Hey," Clare complained, defending herself, "I can be rebellious."

"Oh, yeah?" I asked her. She was talking to the master of rebellion, so I hoped she was prepared to back up her claim, "what's next? Sneaking into a…'R' rated movie?" I looked around like talking about such a thing was a scandal that we shouldn't be caught discussing.

Clare narrowed her eyes at me, and looked around for something 'rebellious' to do. Her eyes landed in the bright blue neon sign announcing 'Piercings'. The devilish gleam in her eyes grew more pronounced, and she smirked at me, backing up to lean against the building. My eyebrows came together in confusion. There was no way she was about to suggest what I thought she was. But she opened her mouth, and proved me wrong. "Matching piercings?" She asked me innocently.

"Won't your parents hate that?" I pointed out to her, making sure this was something she really wanted to do. Of course, I was game, but I didn't want her waking up tomorrow morning to regret this whole thing. It was strange; assuming the role of responsibility- I was usually the reckless one.

"Definitely," Clare told me, as if that were the point. I raised my eyebrows at her, deliberating if I should let her go through with this. "What?" she jokingly mocked; "scared to keep up with me?" The suggestive smile on her face was what did me in. Clearly she was going through with this whether I did it with her or not, and truth be told, I wanted to do it. I didn't know many couples that had matching piercings, and it was a cute idea. I pretended to turn away, like I was going to leave, but then I busted a small dance move, and pranced before her into the lobby.

The only light in the place was supplied by neon signs. They were everywhere- pink, blue, and yellow; just being the room was giving me a headache. I didn't like it in here, especially since the man behind the counter was wearing a muscle shirt, was covered in tattoos from head to toe, had piercings everywhere, and was probably four times the size of me. I generally try not to pass judgment, but not only was the guy a walking cliché, he just seemed shady. I glanced at Clare, but amazingly she seemed to be completely unfazed, and even at ease. Clearly this bout of rebellion had turned off the logic part of her brain. Every nerve in my body was standing on end, and my instincts were shouting at me to get out.

"What can I do you for?" The man's gruff voice sliced through my mental panic.

"I actually think we're going to," I started to say 'go', but Clare cut me off.

"We're looking to get matching piercings," she announced proudly, and then shot me a questioning look. I just shrugged and pretended to be enthralled with one of the books full of tattoo designs. "Do you have any suggestions?" Clare asked politely.

"How naughty are you looking to get?" the man asked, winking at Clare.

I stepped in front of her possessively, narrowing my eyes at the creep. "We're going to stick with something common," I let my disgust color my tone, "like the ear." My lip curled up at him; who the hell did he think he was. And what kind of sick question is that anyway? Clare's hand slipped into mine, and she gave me a restraining squeeze. I got the message loud and clear- she wanted me to cool down.

"I can do that," the man held his hands up in surrender, and I backed down. "Where on the ear are you thinking?" he asked all business now. I looked at Clare, wondering what she had in mind.

"Cartilage?" the word came out as a question, and not at all like an answer. I shrugged and smiled at her; why the hell not.

"You heard the lady," I said turning back to the man.

He nodded, "I'll start you off with a standard hoop, then. That okay?" he raised his eyebrows at me, waiting for a response. Surprisingly enough, I had never done anything like this, so that sounded fine to me. It wasn't like I had anything to go off of. I nodded at him. "Which one of you first?" he asked a smile creeping onto his face as he gestured to the char in the corner of the room.

"I'll go first," Clare chirped, walking over to the chair, and hoping on without hesitation. Creepy man and I both followed her over. I grabbed her hand as the man prepared the gun. Clare's eyes widened when she saw it, but she quickly composed her face into the come-what-may mask she had been wearing seconds before.

"I'm going to ask you one last time," I whispered to her quietly, "are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes," Clare's voice rung with certainty. "Don't tell me you're backing out," she accused me.

"Wouldn't dream of it," I assured her, even though I wasn't at all sure anymore. Clare had her heart set on it, though, and I'd be damned if I was going to let her down.

"You ready," Creepy man asked her, holding the gun to her ear. Clare nodded, and squeezed her eyes shut, gripping my hand tighter. I brought it up to my lips, and kissed her hand softly just as the gun rang out. Clare gasped, but otherwise didn't make a noise. I was proud of her; she had handled that well. Clare tucked her hair behind her ear, and turned her head so I could see. "What do you think?" she asked.

"Holy shit!" I yelled.

Clare looked at me, her eyebrows knitting together in concern. "Is something wrong?" she asked, worried.

I shrugged. "Nope, looks like your average earring to me," I winked at her, and she smacked me in the arm.

"Not funny," she commented under her breath, and we traded places. After seeing Clare handle it so casually I was much less worried about this venture. After all, if Clare could take it without screaming in pain, so could I.

Still, when Creepy man placed the gun against my ear my pulse quickened, and I could hear my heart thumping so loud that I was worried Clare could hear it, too. I folded my hands in my lap- I didn't want Clare to feel how sweaty they were from my nerves. I took a few deep breaths, and didn't let myself close my eyes. "One…two…three," Creepy man counted down, and then a shot rang out in my ear, and a shooting pain rippled through my head. I clamped down on my tongue so I wouldn't make any noise, but I did flinch after the gun was taken away from my head. I didn't know how people pierced things like their tongues; that would hurt like a bitch.

"Let me see," Clare requested beaming at me.

I placed my hand over my ear, trying to stop the ringing. "Not right now," I told her, massaging my ear gently. Damn, that had really hurt more than I had expected.

"Why not?" Clare persisted.

"Because I have to pay, and then I would really like to get out of here. All this neon is making my head pound," I told her lightly. She rolled her eyes at me, but we got up and went back to the front counter. I handed over the money for Clare's bizarre whim, and then I wrapped my arm around her waist and we walked to Morty. "What time do you suppose it is?" I asked Clare.

She leaned into me, and grabbed her phone from her bag. "Uh, oh," she said under her breath.

"What's wrong?" I asked, concerned.

She chuckled to herself as she told me, "I have six missed calls from my parents." I narrowed my eyes at her. How was she so okay with that? Her parents were obviously upset, and normally that would be eating Clare up alive. Instead, new Clare seemed to take that as fuel.

"And that's funny because…?" I prompted her, genuinely curious about her carefree attitude.

"I've never felt so free. It's kind of a rush, you know, this whole regular teenage disobedience. I like it; the tables have turned," she murmured the last part under her breath, and I wasn't sure if she had meant for me to hear it. "And it's 10:30," Clare said, not forgetting the reason she pulled her phone out in the first place.

"Well, Miss Defiant, would you like to go get some coffee at The Dot, or call it a night?" I hoped she would choose the former, but I almost wanted her to pick the latter just because her parents would be happier to have her home.

"I'm definitely parched," she winked at me as we arrived at Morty.

"The Dot it is, then," I smiled at her, and climbed into the car. As soon as we were in though, her phone started to buzz. "You don't think it might be a good idea to go home?" I asked her again.

Clare just shook her head. "That's a silly question. Going home means leaving you." I smiled, and leaned down to place a kiss on the top of her head, breathing in her luscious sent before pulling away, and heading toward The Dot. Clare and I didn't say anything on the ride there, we just listened to the CD I had made for her, our hands intertwined.

When we did reach the Dot I had Clare pick us out a table, and I walked inside to buy us some drinks. Clare had picked a table outside, and away from the other customers. I set the tray down, and settled into the chair across from her. "Thank you," Clare remarked happily as she picked up her drink to take a sip.

"You are most welcome," I told her, and reached up to scratch my head. As I did so, though, I bumped into my ear which was very sore. "Ow," I yelped before I could stop myself.

"What is it?" Clare asked anxiously.

"I forgot about the piercing," I told her, wincing.

"Oh, yeah," Clare perked up, "Let me see!"

"No," I complained, but she kept up a steam of pleading until I caved. "Okay!" I told her, brushing my hair out of the way.

Clare leaned in to observe the piercing that looked identical to her own. "Oh, my God," she said in awe, a smile on her face. She was baffled that we had gone through with it.

"Why didn't you tell me this would hurt so much?" I asked. After all, she was the one who had other piercings in her ear- she should have at least warned me.

"Hey," she said playfully, "rebellion is not the pain of ear. Here," she said, grabbing a bottle off the table and unscrewing the cap, "hot sauce will take your mind off the pain," she raised her eyebrows at me flirtatiously.

She was acting so different than the girl I had fallen in love with. It was so weird, and yet, "I love first date Clare," I decided. Clare's rebellion had made her the kind of spontaneous that was challenging and dangerous, but so much fun. "Do you think she'll make an appearance on date two?" I asked hopefully.

Clare shot me a stern look, "Hey, date one is not over yet," she reminded me, and we both laughed. But our moment was cut short by the buzzing of Clare's phone. She shot an anxious look at it before flipping it open. At first, I thought she was going to answer it, but she 'ignored' the call instead. "I'm an hour late, mom" Clare yelled at the phone, "deal with it."

"That's the tenth time they've called," I pointed out cautiously, "won't they worry?"

"Who cares," Clare shrugged candidly, "let them."

It seemed like the perfect time to finally voice my concerns over Clare's parents. "I guess…I care," I informed her earnestly. "I really like you," understatement of the century, "ergo; I want them to like me."

Clare's face softened, and a small, sweet smile brightened her face, "What's not to like, Captain Curfew?" she asked me playfully.

I sighed. She wasn't getting it. "They're going to blame me for keeping you out so late." And then I would never have the chance to charm them; make a good impression.

Clare considered that for a moment, looking down at the table. When she met my eyes again, though, a new kind of determination was lighting up her face. Curiosity was written all over my face. "You know how…public displays of affection at banned in school?" Clare asked me coyly. I nodded, liking the sound of where this was headed. "Could I convince you to stay out for some contraband kissing?" she asked, seductively grabbing my tie, and pulling me closer. I couldn't help it, I caved. Clare had never come on to me like this, and, well, I was a guy. She looked so beautiful sitting there, an alluring gleam in her eye.

I maintained our eye contact until our lips were just touching, and then I let mine slip closed. Clare was wearing a lip gloss that smelled like vanilla, and I licked it off her lips just lightly. She giggled as I did so, her teeth grazing my lip. I let my hands slip into her hair, and I deepened the kiss just before pulling away. "I really should get you home," I muttered against her lips, my head slightly faint from the kiss.

Clare groaned just slightly. "Are you sure about that?" she asked, slipping her lips back between mine. I kissed back for a moment before fully pulling away.

"Yes, I'm sure." Clare rolled her eyes, but we both slipped into Morty. I pulled up to her house a few minutes later, slipping Morty into park. "Thank you. That was probably the best night of my life," I told her honestly.

Her eyes sparkled hear me say that. "Mine too," she agreed. I ejected the CD and handed it to her. She placed in her purse. "Thank you," she smiled at me, "for everything."

"For you, I would do anything," I reminded her.

"Even give me one last goodnight kiss?" Clare asked me, glancing up at me through her eyelashes. Her face was flushed with emotion.

"I don't know…," I started jokingly, "that seems like a lot to ask."

She looked up at me, about to retort, I assumed, but I cut her off by sliding close to her. I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and kissed the piercing. Then I moved up to her temple, placing a kiss there as well. I traveled all around her face, placing kisses on her jaw, forehead, nose, and cheeks. I stopped right at the edge of her lips. "Goodnight Clare," I whispered softly, and then she and I shared the sweetest, softest kiss. I applied the minimum amount of pressure; Clare's lips parted just slightly. I slipped my lips between hers, and we paused like that for a moment before pulling away.

"Night, Eli," Clare replied, breathless. She slipped out of the hearse, and walked into her house.

I leaned against my seat, too intoxicated by Clare to move. That was the best first date ever.

**Well, what do you think, lovelies- did I do the first date justice, or was it bad? Cute enough? I hope so. Let me know what you think, pretty please! **


	3. The Invitation

**Guess what! This is the first half of Love Lockdown- Part 2. I hope you are appropriately enthused. ;)**

**Enjoy, my pretties! That was a command. Just do it. Nike knows what they are talking about. **

**Okay, I'm sorry- I promise to get less weird in these Author Notes. Scratch that- I promise to make an effort to be less weird…:**

As soon as I could breathe again I put Morty in drive and slowly headed toward home. I almost didn't want to arrive back at my house because then the date would officially be over. Clare's unexpected behavior had just made our evening more enjoyable, but I was sure that by tomorrow she would have returned to her normal overly-cautious self.

So, instead of going straight back to reality I drove to the café where Clare and I had spent our first real time together skipping class. The café itself was closed, so I pulled out my iPod and planted myself on the bench watching the occasional insomniac pass by, just thinking about the evening. To be honest, the date scared me to death for two reasons. First off, it was the most wondrous evening of my life thus far, and it made me think that things between Clare and me could only go downhill from here. Cynical? Yeah, it was, but I couldn't help that the thought was tugging on my subconscious, begging to be brought to the forefront. Everything I had ever had that was good in my life found a way to disappear, so why should this end up any differently.

I pushed my dark musings to the side, not wanting them to ruin the fact that the date really was perfect. Even if this feeling couldn't last, that didn't mean I shouldn't enjoy it while I could.

The second reason the date scared me deserved much more attention- the way Clare made me feel was absolutely terrifying. I knew I loved her, but somehow tonight had cemented the feelings. They were concrete now, and to lose Clare would be ten times more painful than losing Julia, and, frankly, the thought made me quiver with intense emotions that I couldn't fully indentify. Clare was like a bright light, and I was the dimwitted moth that simply couldn't resist her.

Suddenly, I was overwhelmed with the need to tell Clare that I was in love with her. I pulled out my phone only to find that it was one in the morning, and Clare probably wouldn't appreciate a phone call of any variety at this moment. I would have to wait for the right time.

I sat there for a few more minutes replaying all the moments of the date that made my pulse pick up excitedly. I lingered on the last kiss, sighing. I don't think Clare realized how irresistible she was, which, consequently, only made her more appealing.

I checked my phone again for the time: 1:30; time to call it a night. I shoved my iPod into my pocket and jumped back into Morty. As soon as I got home I tiptoed quietly into my room, shutting the door lightly behind me. As soon as I turned around I jumped, seeing all the crap that was piled into the small space. I dropped my head into my hands, ashamed that I had forgotten my room was like this. I had just felt so normal, so ecstatic, all night that I had completely dismissed my issues. That had never happened to me before, and I wondered what it meant. I couldn't linger on the possibilities long, though, because I realized I was plagued with some intense fatigue, and I dropped onto my bed.

When I closed my eyes all I could see were tonight's festivities replying on a constant loop. I smiled, and drifted into a comforting slumber.

XXX

The next morning I ran into Adam on my way up the steps of Degrassi. "Good morning, my dear friend," I greeted him, patting him on the back.

"Someone is in an unusually good mood," he noted, warming to my uncharacteristic buoyancy.

"I am," I agreed, flashing him a smile and holding open the door for him.

"Wow," Adam raised his eyebrows. "Must have been one hell of a date," he accurately concluded.

I laughed. "You have no idea," I started, but he cut me off.

"And let's keep it that way. I'm happy you're so happy, but you can spare me all the gory details." I nodded. I could do that. We rounded the corner and stopped at my locker. "Where is Clare this morning?" Adam asked, looking around.

"Not sure," I told him honesty. However, her absence didn't really worry me; she was probably running a little late, if I had to guess. Clare wasn't used to late nights like I was, so it wouldn't surprise me if she was having a hard time dragging herself out of bed.

The warning bell rang and Adam and I went our separate ways. History was nearly unbearable, though. I just couldn't concentrate knowing that next period was my English class with Clare. Although I wasn't worried about her absence, I was slightly dismayed that I hadn't seen her yet.

So, as soon as the bell rang, I sprung out of my seat and headed for my next class. I walked in, scanned the room, but found no sign of Clare. I had to admit that my concern finally kicked in. Where was she? I dropped into my seat, and just as I was considering texting her to make sure she was okay someone grabbed my underarm, causing me to jump a little. "Whoa!" I gasped involuntarily, but then saw it was Clare and a smile broke out across my face; all traces of worried instantly vanished. "Hey, fun first date last night," I commented. I could tell she was in just as good a mood as I had been this morning. She looked like she was practically glowing with pleasure.

"Mhmm," she murmured her assertion as she pushed her hair behind her ear reveling her piercing.

I narrowed my eyes slightly. I had completely expected Clare to have transformed back into her usual self, but it almost seemed like she was still high on her rebellious streak. I decided to test the waters. "Was it worth the parental meltdown?" I asked her cautiously.

"Absolutely," Clare replied enthusiastically; not at all the response old Clare would have given and she didn't stop surprising me there. "So, what do you want to do tonight? Tattoos?" she suggested.

My eyebrows shot up. What was she going to suggest next; that we run off to Vegas and elope? I was starting to get uncomfortable with how different Clare was acting. Something was obviously going on. I tried to reel her in a little; force a regular Clare response out of her, "They didn't freak out enough about the piercing?" I asked her, gesturing to it with my pen.

Clare totally ignored me. "We could get matching dragons," her eyes sparkled dangerously, "across our backs!"

No way in hell was I going off to get a tattoo with Clare. When, or if, she came back to her senses she would totally kill me if I let her do something so stupid and reckless. So, I diverted her attention, "Can we save something for our six month anniversary?"

Clare's face fell, disappointment flashing across her face before she composed it. "That's a tad optimistic," the way she said it made it clear that she thought the opposite; that I was shooting low. I smiled, thankful that she felt this relationship was going to be long term just like I hoped.

"Only because you're parents might kill me first," I reassured her before realizing that was a plausible possibility. "Do they totally hate me?" I asked her, concern making me scrunch my eyebrows together.

Clare chewed on her thumbnail looking sheepish. "To be honest," she mumbled, her hand making her words a jumble, "I haven't told them about you." She winced, as if this might offend me.

I was a little astonished. She had wanted to introduce me to her parents last week until they had started fighting, so I had assumed they at least knew I existed. "Oh," I answered her, at a loss for words. What does one say to that, exactly? Was it a bad thing that Clare hadn't informed her parents about me; was she not allowed to date, or something?

As I was turning the possibilities over in my head Ms. Dawes walked into the room. "Oh Eli," she began, "I don't like the new rules either, but please tell me that you've got a doctor's note that says you're allergic to cotton and kaki." I looked down; I hadn't even realized that I hadn't put on the uniform this morning. Old habits die hard, I suppose. Not to mention I wasn't looking forward to my individuality being stifled by a dress code.

"This is the real me, Ms. Dawes," I defended myself, "I can't change overnight." So, it was a lame defense, but I didn't have the time to prepare a better one. Ms. Dawes had made it pretty clear that I only had one warning, anyway.

"Oh, that's a noble stance, Eli," Ms. Dawes told me sarcastically. I smirked at her. "You keep on being you," she continued, "in detention."

I rolled my eyes. It figured. Shaking her head, Clare turned to face me. Her eyes had lit up again dangerously. "That's it," she said heatedly.

"I know," I said back, just as upset about this stupid dress code, "how can school dictate how I choose to express myself." It was ridiculous.

"No," Clare dismissed my anger, "about my parents." I looked up at her, not sure where this was going. "They should meet my boyfriend," she declared confidently, placing her small hands over mine which were folded on top on my desk.

Considering I was just thinking that Clare hadn't told her parents about me because she wasn't allowed to date, I was a little confused. "Boyfriend," I asked her, "Really?" Was she sure that was a good idea…

"Mhmm," she told me happily, plucking my pen out of my hands and twirling it in her fingers, "for dinner tonight. After your detention," she clarified. I smiled and blushed, hoping she wouldn't mention that to her parents. I really wanted to leave a good first impression, and I was pretty sure detention would not impress them. I looked up to meet Clare's eyes, but the expression on her face worried me a little. She looked kind of crazed. "Just be yourself," she assured me, as if she could read the insecurities passing through my head, "They'll love you." She bit down on my pen before dropping it on my desk, and turning around to face front.

XXX

After class, Clare skipped off after promising to see me at lunch, and Adam took her place by my side.

"You look like someone just punched you in the gut," I turned to glare at him. "Or like a little kid who just found out Santa isn't real," he continued happily.

"Will you shut up?" I asked him politely.

"Only after you tell me what gives," Adam challenged, "Normally after English you're all big smiles and rainbows because it's your only class with Clare."

"Clare…hasn't been herself lately," I tested saying to words out loud. They sounded like an understatement.

"What do you mean?" Adam asked quizzically.

"I can't really explain it," I told him, frustrated, "but next time you're around her, look her in the eye. You should know right away what I'm talking about."

"Ooookaaay," Adam drew out the word, still confused.

"And on top of Clare acting strange, I have to go meet her parents tonight, and I'm kind of freaked out. What if they don't end up liking me? I'm not always the easiest person to get along with. This dinner could be a total disaster," I felt a little more at ease after getting all that off my chest.

"Dude, calm down; either they'll like you, or they won't, but you don't need to stress so much. It's not like you can change who you are just so they'll like you."

"Touché, my friend," I said, patting him on the back. Adam always told it like it was, and it always reassured me. "See you at lunch!" I called, and walked off to my class.

In the few periods I had before lunch I obsessed over every little thing that could or would go wrong tonight, which probably wasn't the best idea because it did not help my mental stability. But by the time I did get to lunch I managed to talk myself out of my worries. I was going to make Clare's parents like me no matter what; there was no other option.

Adam and Clare were already sitting at our table, and Clare was talking animatedly. Adam was watching her cautiously, and if I had to guess, he was no longer confused about my earlier comment.

"Hello," I greeted them, sliding into my chair. I gave Clare a quick peck on the top of her head as I sat down. "Whatcha guys talking about?"

"Last night," Clare told me happily, "Adam asked about my piercing." I nodded.

Adam's head fell down to the table in between is arms. "I wish I hadn't," he informed me, "she hasn't shut up about it." I chuckled, and Clare lightly punched him in the arm.

"We should find you a girlfriend," She said, perking up. My eyebrows shot up in shock. Clare was never one to play matchmaker. When was the madness going to end?

"Thanks, but no thanks," Adam told her politely, shooting me a questioning look. I shrugged my shoulders, glad to know I wasn't the only one who noticed Clare's different behavior. "If I find someone, great; if not, then I'll just have to continue basking in your relationship glory. Speaking of which, have fun at dinner tonight," Adam said, smiling. He winked at me, and I glared at him in response.

"Oh, we will," Clare informed Adam. Something in the way she said it sounded ominous to me. "I've got to get to class early, I have to talk to my teacher, but I'll see you later, Eli. I hope you're ready for this." She shot me a broad smile, the gleam in her eye glinting alarmingly. I gulped, and nodded as she skipped away.

"What…the…hell," Adam said slowly after Clare was out of sight. "What did you do to her last night?"

"I have no clue," I said, dropping my head into my hands.

One thing was for sure: tonight was going to be an interesting night.

**So, I owe all of you guys a huge apology. I really have no excuse for taking so long to update, especially considering this chapter was so short, but it was mostly lack of motivation. And I didn't want to give you guys any old crap to read; I wanted to make sure I was giving you my best work. So, can you find it in your hearts to forgive me? I hope so. **

**Anyway, the next chapter is going to be loads of fun to write. Who's ready for the dinner? I am! Not to mention, that's the only chapter standing in between me and Umbrella- Parts 1 and 2. Those are going to be intense. I cannot wait!**

**Once again, I'm sorry guys. I'll have the new chapter up ASAP! Thanks for reading. Your kind words always make my day. =) **


	4. Disastorus Dinner

**I'm so excited to write this, so I won't even bother with much of an author's note. Enjoy! You guys are seriously the best. =D**

Sitting in detention was literally torturous. I sat in the back so I could slip in my earphones, and try to block all my anxieties about tonight from driving me insane. Too bad it wasn't working. I was still dumbfounded by Clare's attitude, and I hoped that she would return to sensible Clare very soon. It was exhausting trying to keep up with her.

Add that to the fact that sitting in detention was just reinforcing the fact that Clare's parents had every right to hate me, and I was a wreck. All I could think about was my room back at home; the Edward's probably wanted so much for Clare, and I was going to ruin it because I was literally messed up.

'_Deep breaths_,' I reminded myself, repeating this mantra until detention was over.

When I arrived at home I avoided my room at all costs. Going in there would surely drive me up the wall, and, right now, that was the last thing I needed. I paced into the kitchen to grab a glass of water simply for something to do. Clare was expecting me at 5 and it was, I looked down at my watch, 4:10 now.

My mom, who was sitting in the kitchen, spoke up when I slammed the cabinet door closed making the glasses inside clink together. "Want to talk about it?" She asked simply.

"I'm just stressed," I tried to make my voice nonchalant, but it only sounded strangled in my ears.

"Sweetie," my mom sighed, "I had gathered that much. Do you want to talk about what's stressing you out?"

"I'm going over Clare's for dinner tonight to meet her parents," I informed my mom after a moment. "I'm just…putting a lot of unneeded pressure on myself. It'll be fine," I said unconvincingly.

"That's so cute!" My mom exclaimed. "You shouldn't worry; they'll love you. What's not to love, really?"

I rolled my eyes. That was such a typical mom response. "Thanks, mom," I replied, letting a little sarcasm leak into my tone. "I'm going for a walk," I notified her as I stuck my glass in the dishwasher. "I'll see you later tonight."

"Bye, baby," my mom called after me as I stalked out of the room and slammed the front door behind me. I needed to release some of this nervous energy, so I hopped in Morty and drove to the park.

Walking always helped me to clam my nerves, and this trip to the park was no different. I started using this method just after Julia had died; I simply couldn't sit in the house any longer, so I got up and went. I've been doing it ever since. I wasn't exactly the outdoors type, but there was something relaxing in the way the breeze slipped lightly through my hair, the smell of freshly cut grass, the sun covering my surroundings in a warm glow. Before I knew it I was totally in control of myself and my emotions once again, and just in time to head to Clare's.

I pulled up to her house at five on the dot, parked Morty on the curb, and rang the doorbell. Clare pulled the door open, a welcoming smile on her face. "Hey," I greeted her, a matching smile blooming on my face. Clare's eyes, although still containing the devilish gleam, had dimmed down a bit. I sighed in relief. "You're still wearing your uniform?" I questioned her. I couldn't even stand to put it on for school hours, and here she was prancing around her house in it.

"It's more convenient than dirtying another outfit," Clare shrugged. My smile widened- that was such a Sensible Clare thing to say. I hoped she was back for good.

"Mhmm," I murmured my understanding. "So, do I get to come in, or are we going to stand in your doorway all night?" I asked her sarcastically, raising my eyebrows.

"Oh sorry," Clare flushed, embarrassed, "Please, come in." She gestured widely to her living room. "Welcome to our humble abode."

"Clare, I've been here before, remember."

"Never formally," she reminded me, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the kitchen. Her mom was standing at the stove stirring a pot of something that smelled like beef. Her dad was nowhere to be found. "Mom," Clare cleared her throat, causing her mom to jump into the air, "Sorry. This is Eli," Clare announced proudly, squeezing my hand before dropping it. "Eli, this is my mom."

I held out my hand to give hers' a firm shake. "It really is a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Edwards," I told her honestly. "Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked, gesturing vaguely to the cooking supplies.

"No, dear, but that's very sweet of you," her mom smiled tiredly at me. "I'm almost done, anyway. I hope you like tacos." They weren't my favorite, but there was no way I was going to complain, so I nodded eagerly. "Good," she complied, "and it's very nice to meet you as well. I'll let you know when the food's ready."

"Thank you, ma'am," I smiled at her, and Clare led me out to the front room again. She took a seat on the couch, and patted the spot next to her, so I walked over to join her, lightly draping my arm over her shoulders.

"That was impressive," Clare noted. I may have been paranoid, but it almost sounded as if she was a little disappointed that I had done so well with her mother. Strange. "My dad's working, but he should be home any minute," Clare disclosed, laying her head down on my shoulder and sighing.

"How are they, anyway," I asked, hoping Clare would know what I was talking about.

"Let's talk about it later," Clare said, shifting uncomfortably. I had the feeling that meant things had gotten worse. I frowned.

"Sure thing," I reassured her, bending down to plant a kiss on the top of her head. "Thanks for inviting me over," I whispered into her hair, and she shivered.

Just then the door slammed shut, and Clare's dad walked in. Both Clare and I shot upright, but I kept my arm around her shoulders.

"Hi, dad," Clare greeted him, a nervous quiver in her voice. "I want you to meet Eli," she said, gesturing to me. Her dad had set down his briefcase, and was standing in the doorway, eyeing me.

I got up and crossed the room, extending my arm. "Hello, sir," I shook his hand. He gripped mine a little harder than necessary. "Thank you for having me over to dinner. It's so nice to finally meet you." I smiled at him, and he gave me a thin-lipped smile back, nodding his head tightly.

"No one told me we were having guests," he raised his eyebrows at Clare.

"I cleared it with Mom," Clare said defiantly. I cringed, seeing traces of new, rebellious Clare in her eyes.

As I was thinking this, Clare's mom called from the kitchen, "Dinner's ready! Clare would you please set the table?"

"Of course," Clare yelled back, and then turned to me, "Want to help?"

"Indeed," I smiled at her, and followed as she led the way to the kitchen.

Clare and I placed all the taco garnishes on the table, and her mom brought in the meat. Mr. Edwards got everyone something to drink, and then we all sat down at the table. An awkward silence settled over us; Mr. and Mrs. Edwards exchanged loaded glances, and Clare looked very pleased and excited for some reason. She wasn't looking me in the eye, so I had no clue which Clare I was dealing with at the moment. I took a sip of my water to occupy the awkwardness.

After several long, painful moments Clare spoke up. "Mom, thanks so much for letting Eli stay for dinner," she said, grabbing my hand. Her mom smiled, and I could tell Clare was throwing her dad's earlier comment back up in his face. I raised my eyebrow at her. So, I was dealing with new Clare- this worried me immensely.

"So, Eli," her dad began after Mrs. Edwards had oh-so-subtly nodded her head in my direction, her eyes locked with his. "How do you and Clare know each other?" he asked, minimal interest in his voice.

I smiled, remembering our first encounter. But we really knew each other thanks to Ms. Dawes. "We're in English class together," I informed him happily. Mr. Edwards smiled and nodded, obviously approving of this answer, so I continued, "She's one of the smartest, even though she's younger." I looked at Clare, unable to keep the proud smile off my lips. After all, Clare was a beautiful girl, but nothing contributed more to her appeal than her beautiful brain and big heart.

"And I have a wonderful editor," Clare said smiling back at me. I nodded, but she continued, "WHEN we're not skipping class."

My eyes widened, and I almost had a heart attack…did she just say what I think she said? I looked at Clare only to see the evil gleam in her eye brighter than ever. Oh, shit, this was not happening…

Clare smiled tightly at her parents who quickly composed their shocked faces. I turned bright red, but Clare's mom jumped in, choosing to ignore Clare's bout of insanity. "So, what do your parents do, Eli?" she asked me politely.

I opened my mouth to answer, but I was cut off by Clare. The color drained from my face. Judging by the look in her eye this was not going to be pretty. "Oh, his dad is a shock jock," Clare announced scathingly, "Bullfrog on the Solid Rock 98. That station you hate." She annunciated every word of the last sentence delivering it for maximum impact.

I felt about the size of an ant. Why was Clare doing this? I winced, and looked at her dad's expression, but I couldn't read his face so I had no clue what he was thinking about all this. "Bet your home life must be colorful," he commented, staring me down. That wasn't fair. '_I thought Jesus lovers weren't supposed to be judgmental_,' I thought to myself sarcastically, knowing that was the opposite of true.

Clare continued, further embarrassing me. "Less colorful, more black," she announced insolently. I shifted uncomfortably feeling like a black sheep. "Eli even drives that hearse outside." Never had I ever been ashamed of Morty. In fact, he had always been a source of pride in my life. I loved my car, and even though he broke down a lot, I always found him endearing. But when Clare told her Dad that he was mine, I wished for once that it was a normal vehicle. I wanted to melt into the carpet and pretend that this evening never happened.

"Why don't we get started" Clare's mom suggested, clearly stressed and disappointed at the turn this conversation had taken. '_Yeah, join the club_,' I thought darkly. I couldn't imagine this evening getting any worse. But then…it did, "Eli, as our guest, would you like to thank the Lord for this beautiful meal for us?"

Shit. Clare's parent's folded their hands and looked at me expectantly. A lightning bolt headed straight for me would have been very much welcome, but it didn't come. I was going to have to explain myself delicately. Not that it really mattered, they probably already hated me. "Well…I, uh," I hesitated, not knowing how to break the news to them exactly.

But I never got the chance because Clare jumped in again, 'saving' me the trouble. "Oh, did I forget to mention," Clare said daringly, "Eli's an atheist." She said it so candidly; like she knew the more casual about it she was the more her parents would be upset.

That was the last straw, though. "Clare," I reprimanded her, dangerously close to losing it. But Clare just sat there, a smug little smile on her face. I really wanted to slap it off, and ask her what the hell her problem was, but I was too far in shock to even say anything else.

"Never mind, Eli," Her dad's voice was gruff as he tried to repress his disappointment. I hung my head in shame, not wanting to meet Mr. and Mrs. Edwards' eyes. "Helen?"

"Hmm," she muttered, and started their prayer. "Lord, thank you for bringing us all together this evening to share in this beautiful feast. Amen." As her mother spoke Clare plucked an olive out of one of the bowls and popped it in her mouth provocatively. I gave her the best glare I could muster, hoping the heat of my anger would burn her; prevent her from doing any more damage than she already had.

All I had wanted was for Clare's parents to like me; to rest assured knowing that their daughter was being cared for by someone who loved her and would never do anything to harm her. What I got, though, was Clare playing up all the aspects of my life that make adults cringe even though it's not even half of what makes me who I really am. I was hurt, shocked, and more than a little angry. The worst part was I had no clue what I had done to deserve this. Why was Clare going out of her way to make her parents not like me?

Clare's parents started to eat, but they continued to scrutinize me all the while. Clare was having no trouble eating either, but I couldn't. I felt sick to my stomach. "Excuse me," I said hurriedly, and ran into the bathroom. I turned on the faucet and splashed some cold water on my face. "What the hell?" I asked my reflection, but it gave me no helpful response.

I took a deep breath and walked back to the table. "Are you alright?" Mrs. Edwards asked concerned.

"I will be," I smiled at her, and turned to glare at Clare.

"So, Mom…Dad" Clare started again, smiling at me, "what do you think of Eli?" Clare raised her eyebrows challengingly at them, knowing the answer.

I didn't want them to confirm my worst nightmares, so before they could open their mouth I cut in. "You really don't have to answer that," I begged them; "I just want you to know I'm not the bad guy it may seem like I am. I really care about your daughter, and I'd like you to give me the chance to prove so. But right now, I think it would just be best for everyone if I leave. I'm really sorry Mr. and Mrs. Edwards. I appreciate all you went through to prepare this dinner, but I don't want to impose anymore tonight." I paused to let them digest that much. They both looked surprised, but not necessarily upset that I suggested my leaving. "I'll let myself out," I reassured them. "Thanks again." I got up and walked for the door, shaking my head. Hopefully I was able to repair a little bit of the damage Clare had done. My heart sank as I reached the door; this could not have panned out any more horridly. Even in my crazed musings earlier that day I had not imagined this dinner going so awry.

Just as I had unlocked Morty and was about to climb in Clare run up to me- "Why are you leaving?" she asked confused.

"You're smart. You should be able to figure that out," I spat at her, "I don't know what was up with you tonight, but I hope you come to your senses soon, Clare. I don't know how much longer I can take this." And with that I jumped into Morty, and spend off toward my house leaving Clare confused on her sidewalk, watching me go. I didn't like the way that made me feel- not one bit.

XXX

The next morning I sat up in bed as my alarm pierced through the darkness. I immediately felt around for my phone hoping that Clare had called or texted to apologize about last night. I found it, and flipped it open…nothing. I sighed and hurled myself out of bed. As I got ready I decided it was finally time to embrace the new, structured Degrassi, so I slid on my uniform and glanced in my mirror.

It was so weird to see myself in such bright colors. There was no black to be found except for the mop of hair on the top of my head. It made me feel like I was sticking out like a sore thumb; I already missed my black on black attire. I did take solace in the fact that my shirt was red. I owned a few red articles of clothing, so it wasn't _completely_ out of the ordinary for me to be seen in, but it was still unusual.

I didn't have a whole lot of time to complain though; I was running a little late. I skipped breakfast and headed straight for school.

I was walking up to my locker when Adam came from behind me. "Well, look who decided to conform today!" he mocked.

"Adam," I snapped, "I am really not in the mood today."

He quickly assessed my mood. "Is it safe to assume that dinner didn't go too well?" he asked cautiously. I growled in response, not wanting to talk about it. "Okay, man, I can take a hint. I'll see you in English, okay." He patted my back, and I nodded in response.

As I was digging around in my locker I heard boots clomping over in my direction, but I didn't look up. "You were so cute last night," I heard Clare purr as she approached me.

I frowned. That wasn't exactly the reaction I had expected this morning after what I had said to her last night. Not to mention not a single thing about last night would be something I described as 'cute.' "Was I?" I asked her sarcastically, "I felt more like a pariah." I couldn't bring myself to look at her yet; I was afraid of seeing another smug grin plastered on her face, and I wouldn't be able to take it.

Clare scoffed. "Oh, my parents just have to deal with that fact that I have a big, scary boyfriend," she mocked.

How in the world was she being so casual and lighthearted about this? Didn't she realize the damage she had done? "How can I even show my face in your house aga…," I turned to face her, trailing off when I noticed what she was wearing; my mouth dropping open in surprise.

At first I thought my eyes were playing a trick on me, but when I blinked Clare was still dressed the same. I noticed that she had overdone her makeup, and it was making a mockery out of how beautiful Clare was without any on at all. She had on bright, red lipstick, and her eye liner was on so thick that it made her eyes look out of place on her fair skin. She was wearing her hair straight, and had dyed a large strip in the front black. I loved her natural color, and couldn't believe that she had messed with it. I hoped it was a temporary dye. This wasn't Clare at all.

I let my eyes drop from her face to take in the rest of her new look. When I looked down though, all I could see were her boobs. Clare was beautifully curvy, but she was wearing a corset and a low-cut tank top, so her boobs were hanging out. I resisted the urge to grab a sweater and cover her up so no one else would see. If I wasn't so flabbergasted I would have admired the view myself.

She was also wearing boots, fishnets, and a short plaid skirt. What the hell had happened to the Clare I fell in love with? The girl standing before me was not her. In fact, this girl disgusted me. She was a horrible representation of the sweet, loving, innocent Clare Edwards who happened to be my best friend. "Who are you?" I asked the person in front of me, my disappointment coloring my voice.

"What?" Clare asked, stepping forward to wrap her arms around my neck. "I thought you'd like it," she smiled at me, going for a kiss.

But this wasn't Clare, and I didn't want to have anything to do with this thing she had become. "Clare," I restrained her with my hands, pushing her away, "We'll get a detention." I hated denying her, but I reminded myself that this wasn't really Clare. I had no idea where my Clare was.

"So?" She asked, following me as I walked down the hall. She caught up to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. "Come on; live dangerously," she whispered seductively in my ear.

I ripped her arms off of me. "No, I don't understand why you're doing all this!" I yelled at her, hurt and confused.

Then, finally, the old, sensible Clare broke though. "Because," she yelled back at me, grabbing my arm and forcing me to stop. She twirled me around to face her. "I'm scared," she said, her eyes brimming with tears. "Eli," she pleaded with me, the gleam in her eye completely gone.

But that didn't change the fact that she had hurt me last night, and didn't even have the decency to acknowledge it. "Of what," I challenged her, "sanity?"

"I'm scared that my parents are going to sit me down, look me in the eye, and say 'We're getting a divorce, and there's nothing you can do about it.'" Clare's terror was breaking through, and I could tell that she hadn't admitted this even to herself yet.

Still…"How exactly does using me as a pawn in your parental showdown stop their divorce?" My voice was cutting, I let all my hurt flow though it, making Clare flinch.

"When they're both mad at me they have something in common," she explained. It was a weak justification, but at least I understood where she was coming from at last.

"Clare, they've already decided" I told her gently, my voice growing tender.

"Then maybe they'll see how it's screwing up their daughter," she yelled at me desperately.

I felt like I had been slapped in the face. I had no idea that Clare thought I was 'screwing her up.' Fine. If that's they she wanted it, so be it, but I wanted nothing to do with it.

"Well, I'm not playing that game," I informed her angrily, "You tried to hurt them, but I'm the one that got burned."

A lump formed in my throat as I turned to leave Clare behind for the second time in the last twelve hours.

**Want to see how they resolve this? I should have the first half of Umbrella- Part 1 up soon. That's one thing that always bothered me; they fight at the end of Love Lockdown- Part 2, but then it's like nothing's ever happened the next morning. So, I shall show you what transpires! **

**But, first, please let me know what you think of this! Did I do this rockin' segment justice? And who is excited for Umbrella? =D**

**Once again, thank you all for reading. I love you guys to death!**

**P.S.- I'm sorry if the last part is filled with typos, but I have to get to class, and I wanted to finish. =O**


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